Sometimes I hate myself.
I look in the mirror and am appalled by what I see.
I see everything that lurks beneath the surface.
I see the scars no one else can anymore.
I see Trix’s hand on my shoulder forcing me to look.
I take in the ugliness until it’s unbearable and I have to turn away.
How is it only I can see how fucked up I am?
If they see it, they certainly don’t mention it.
How can everyone be intimidated by me when I don’t even like myself?
I don’t always… but I hate feeling these things.
They always make me wonder if he was right when he said I was ‘unlovable’.
I feel unlovable.
And that hurts in a way that most other things don’t.
I break my own heart sometimes.