Confessions [1]

Sometimes I hate myself. 

I look in the mirror and am appalled by what I see. 

I see everything that lurks beneath the surface. 

I see the scars no one else can anymore. 

I see Trix’s hand on my shoulder forcing me to look. 

I take in the ugliness until it’s unbearable and I have to turn away. 

How is it only I can see how fucked up I am? 

If they see it, they certainly don’t mention it. 

How can everyone be intimidated by me when I don’t even like myself?

I don’t always… but I hate feeling these things. 

They always make me wonder if he was right when he said I was ‘unlovable’. 

I feel unlovable. 

And that hurts in a way that most other things don’t. 

I break my own heart sometimes. 


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